a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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