he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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