could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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