Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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