I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
