apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize