Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
