...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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