after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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