so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
