These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
