Apparently you make a good broom.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
