Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
