I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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