Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Your penis caused this!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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