6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
