There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
