Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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