if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize