She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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