i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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