omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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