i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
