So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
