I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
