Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
