Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
