my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
