i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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