So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
