I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish you could order shots online.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize