okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
