i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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