Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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