Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
