omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize