people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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