My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
