Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
