hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
