We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize