i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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