im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
