why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
