Even the bartender felt bad for me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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