I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
