Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
