We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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