Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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