Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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