Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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