mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
