hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
