I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
