we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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