So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
