that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
