I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
