called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
